Yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of when my sister left this world and went to heaven to watch over our family. I can not believe it’s been 10 years. Grief is a mysterious thing you go through when you lose someone. The things your mind decides to remember and forget I will never understand. We decided in her memory to go through old photo albums and just try and remember her the way we knew her. I can’t believe how much my childhood I’ve blocked out. It seems that I only can remember the days leading up to her death and everything after. Looking at the pictures of us playing as little kids, holding hands, hugging and even some sneaking shots my mom took of me cheering her on while she was swimming or playing softball made my heart heavy with both happy and sad thoughts. The happiness came from knowing from being able to see how close we were and how much fun we had as little girls, but the sadness came from realizing that I don’t remember a lot of those times and only have pictures to know that they happened. I wish my memory served me better and I didn’t have the view of losing her so fresh in my mind. I want the memories of our childhood together to burn through the memories of my final days with her. Sami was such a wonderful, caring, perfect little sister and looking at those pictures yesterday reminded me how much I cared about her and how I would have done anything for her. A sister bond is unlike anything else. I sure do miss her and wonder what she would like if she was here today, but I take comfort in knowing that she has helped shape the person I am today and that I get to have a beautiful sweet guardian angel watching over me everyday.
A little update with other things going on. I just started Week 3 of Jamie Eason’s LiveFit Program and I’m feeling really good. The workouts are tougher this week and I’m excited for the challenge. I realized this morning that I need to challenge myself a little more with adding more weight and not being able to get through all my reps. I’m going to try that tomorrow and see if I notice a difference. I’m nervous this week has 2 days of legs and both are pretty intense leg days. I’m hoping to do add in a couple runs this week, but we’ll see how my legs are holding up.
Eating Clean has been going pretty well, definitely harder on the weekends and I find myself being a little more relaxed on the weekends. It’s all about finding the healthy balance. The weekend went by too fast and I have a feeling this week is going to go by pretty fast as well.
Happy Monday! I hope you guys are able to find your motivation to get back in the gym and continue to eat clean and train mean!